I'm going to tell you two truths and a lie about my childhood. I was raised in a small Mid-Western Bible-Belt town in the nineties. My mom ran an elaborate singing telegram business out of our home. I was extremely popular.

I'll let you figure out which two statements are true by gleaning context clues from the book cover. Or, you can read the first chapter here.

How do you know this book is for you? Good question.

Do you like...

Burt Reynolds?
Safety dummies?
Safety dummies disguised as Burt Reynolds?
Interpretive dance?
Embarrassing stories?
Mean horses?
UFO hotlines?

If you answered yes to any of the above, chances are good you grew up weird like me. Maybe you're just a schadenfreude enthusiast looking for your next fix. Or maybe, also like me, you've discovered the secret of learning how to stand out when you'd rather blend in can be the greatest gift a parent could ever give you.

Here's proof the book actually exists:
Growing Up Weird (In academic form.)